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Funny Dinner...A Benefit...State Jokes

Apr 23 | Posted by: Bill Whyte |

How did Monday get here so quick? 

 

Of course the weekend here in Music City was dominated with the awful news of that shooting at a local Waffle House…nowhere near the part of town I’m in.  But there were a couple of reminders for sure.  Life is unpredictable…and dangerous…and there certainly are a lot of disturbed folks out there unfortunately.  But we also found out this country is full of heroes…folks who step up when it’s time just like the young man who charged this gunman and got the gun out of his hand and saved numerous lives. 

 

As of this morning they are still searching for the guy.

 

THE WEEKEND

A fairly uneventful weekend although I did have a very entertaining brunch with a group of guys on Saturday.  Steve Tolman manages Dick Hardwick who has become a semi-regular now on the Grand Ole Opry and played the Opry three times this past weekend.  And they brought a mutual friend from Florida... Alan Wilson... who’s been retired for a while now and is writing songs…one of which Dick performed on the Opry this weekend that he just recorded called “Grits”.  Good fit for the south huh? (Dick on the left in this picture...Alan on the right)

 

So imagine how thrilled both Dick and Alan are to have a song performed on the Opry on the back half of both of their careers.  Pretty cool.  And Steve who is also the father of Jenny Tolman who I write with a lot…was persistent until he got Dick Hardwick on the Opry Stage so good for him.  It’s a great fit for everyone concerned.

 

So I heard a lot of great stories over brunch…and there was a lot of laughter and I made a new friend.  So thanks for the invite guys.

 

HOW IMPORTANT IS LAUGHTER?

Well…I’ve never noticed anyone in a bad mood when they laugh.  It’s needed.  And it did not escape me that Barbara Bush once said he fell in love with George Bush because he made her laugh.  Look how long that marriage lasted.  RIP Mrs. Bush.

 

SUNDAY NIGHT

Last night I did participate in a fund raiser for singer-writer Clinton Gregory at the Commodore Grill in Nashville.  I was in a round with three other great writers…and the writers just kept coming up on stage to sing…and help raise money for Clinton’s hospital bills.  Hopefully they made a pile of money last night. In the picture of my round here...that's Marc-Alan Barnette to the far left, Randy Finchum next to him, me and Joel Shewmake.  

 

I also had a lot of friends and fellow writers in the house…so not only did we do some good…but I had a chance to visit with a lot of industry folks and share stories…and just generally catch up.  My thanks to my friend Gerald Smith for inviting me to be part of the evening…and to Melody Roundup Music for having a big heart and doing this for one of their own.  Get better Clinton.

 

FYI

Joel Shewmake did not perform this one song that I love of his...but it's one of the most clever full circle story songs I've ever heard.  I heard him do this one night at this same venue and wondered how in the world has no one NOT recorded this song.  Well...fast forward in time and Brad Paisley did just that.  Check out "Toothbrush".

 

HAPPY ON SUNDAY

It might be easier to get happy in Nashville now on Sundays as you can now buy wine on Sundays for the first time.  We’re in the Bible Belt here…took a long time to loosen up that belt.  I’ve got eggs, milk and vino on my grocery list right now.

 

LONG LIFE

The world’s oldest person Nabi Tajina died at the age of 117 in Japan.  Cause of death?  They listed she died of “old age”.  That means she pretty much got all she could get out of life.  If I can’t die laughing…I want to die of old age.  Either way…life is still too short…even with 117 years of living completed.

 

SURVEY SAYS

34% of all Seniors are not on the internet.  That figure is higher than I might have suspected in this “on demand” age we live in.

 The good news is that the same folks have an awesome 8 track collection.

 

SPEAKING OF MUSIC

There’s a new artist making some waves in Nashville.  His name is Joshua Hedley…and he’s a bit old school as you can see in the performance of his latest single "Mr. Jukebox".  

 

How old school?  Across his knuckles he tattooed the “number chart” (chords) to the Merle Haggard classic “Swinging Doors”.  Old school.

 

ANOTHER INTERSTING STATISTIC

42% of all employees believe “performance reviews” have zero impact on them.  Agreed.  I HATED those things.  And apparently very few take it to heart and work harder or change whatever came up negative on the scorecard. 

 

I’m glad that these days my only performance reviews come from audiences who can either boo or applaud…or from my wife who can also boo or applaud.

 

WALMART

Now employees at Walmart can wear blue jeans to work if they want to.  Before if they did that…they were called in for a “performance review”…I’m sure.

 

SAVE THOSE THINGS KID

A former NFL lineman bought a 1952 Mickey Mantle baseball card a few years ago.  He put it up for auction a few days ago.  It sold for 2.88 MILLION bucks.  And all I can think of is that big box of baseball cards I had as a kid that got thrown away.  Pardon me while I go get sick.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DUH

A Greyhound bus driver coming out of Cleveland went the wrong way for a few mile.  To be exact…he went in the wrong direction for 114 miles before realizing what he had done.  Geez.

 Three letters pal…G P S.

 

FUNNY STATE JOKES

MSN listed the funniest jokes about each state.  Here’s the on about my home state of Missouri.

 A man from Kansas City walks into a bar and asks, “Wanna hear a joke about people from St. Louis?”

The bartender says, “Listen, pal, I’m from St. Louis, and I won’t appreciate it. The man sitting next to you is 265 pounds, and he’s from St. Louis, too. And the bouncer, that huge guy there, is also from St. Louis. So do you still want to tell that joke?”

“No,” says the guy from Kansas City. “Not if I have to explain it three times.”

If you don’t live in Missouri…here’s the ARTICLE where you can find your state funny. 

 

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

“12 Year Old Boy Uses His Parents Credit Card And Flies To Bali”.  Apparently he had a fight with his Mom...got upset…and did what any 12 year old would do…booked a flight to Bali.

TODAY
We’re rain soaked right now…several days of gray and rain…gloomy!  I have a couple of free days so I’ll be attacking the long “catch up” list I have going that I never will catch up with. 

 

Have a great Monday!

 

 

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